Tag Archives: Racism

June 19, 2015

Racism, Let’s Stop Playing The Victim

By pbstone
Charleston Church

I got this photo from a friend of mine who lives in Charleston, S.C. It was taken the morning of June 18 – the morning after the shooting

Yesterday morning I woke up and went through my usual routine.  When I got to perusing the news, my heart sank.  There was a ball in my stomach and I felt sick. Wednesday night there was a mass murder of 9 individuals attending a Bible Study at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C.  And while we don’t have all of the details yet, it seems this was a hate crime born out of racism.

Throughout the course of the day yesterday I was part of, and an observer of, several conversations about the shooting in Charleston.  Most of the conversations were with white church going believers.  Many of them hold significant leadership positions of various kinds.  These are good people whom I love and admire!  But there was a theme – no, a story, being told throughout the conversations that was very troubling to me.  The story being told can be summed up in one sentence:

It isn’t really a racism problem, it is a sin problem. Can we call that what it is?  Please?

Yes, racism and hate is a sin.  Scripture records for us the first hate crime in Genesis 4 with Cain and Abel.  Romans 3:23 reinforces for us that when sin entered into the world that ALL OF US have sin, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”  Racism is sin.  Hatred is sin.

But!

Passing off a racially motivated murder of 9 individuals, or even 1 individual, as a sin problem is a story we tell ourselves so we can assume the role of helpless victims.  Not victims to racism.  Not victims to hatred.  But we play the roles of victims to sin.

This is where we helplessly throw our hands up in the air saying “it’s a sin issue” as if there is nothing we can do about it.  When we gloss over egregious evil in our world by labeling it a sin issue, we allow ourselves to become helpless and habitually disobedient to the teachings of Jesus.  

Let me say that all differently.  We do life as if we are obligated to live with racism in our world because there is sin in the world.  If we obligate ourselves to living with racism, with sin, then we enslave ourselves to racism, its existence, and let it control us as we play the helpless victim.

But!

Paul tells us we do have an obligation in Romans 8, but not to sin.  In Romans 8:12 we read this, “we have an obligation – but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it.”  Paul tells us that our minds, when controlled by the Spirit of God, are life and peace.  This is not helpless victimization to sin; it is quite the opposite. In Romans 12:2 Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

We partner with the work of the Spirit in this renewal process.  It is hard work.  it is the working out of our salvation.

Racism is sin.  Sin is a problem.  But racism is not just a sin problem we can’t do something about.  We can learn to boldly love.  We can proactively develop relationships with others who are different than ourselves.  We can stop teaching our children to hate or to be passive.  We can stand up to injustice, even in its smallest forms, when it creeps into our communities, neighborhoods, and even our churches.

Sisters and brothers in Christ, we heirs of God, co-heirs with Jesus himself.  We do not need to play the victim to sin. We do not need to put up with racism.

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November 18, 2014

A Snowy Encounter

By pbstone

blizzard

The call came early.  Really early.  5 something.  The robocall was telling us there would be no school today.  Weather.  Weather in Kalamazoo, Michigan.  As I rolled over to try and go back to sleep the thought in my mind was, “don’t plan any June vacations!”  We get a lot of snow in Southwest Michigan and I love it!  I like the snow.

At 6:00am I determine sleep isn’t returning so I get up, blow one side of the driveway and then head off to the gym for an early workout.  With close to 8″ of snow on the road I am enjoying how my Subaru Legacy handles in the snow!  It’s dark and so I am pretty close to them when I spot two people walking in the middle of the road.

Why don’t they walk on the sidewalk!?  As I look over to the side I realize the sidewalk is hidden beneath the snow that is falling and being blown around.  Looking ahead again I slow down to drive around the people walking in the road.  It is a man and a woman.  They aren’t wearing hats or gloves and are carrying plastic bags with what looks like groceries. The man has a binder in his left hand.

He is slightly in front of her as I drive up alongside them.  I put the passenger side window down.  “Would you like a ride?” I ask.  He looks at her, she looks at him, he looks at me.  Looking in the car he asks with a bit of skepticism, “are you sure?”

“Yeah, get in,” I respond.  He gets in front and she climbs into the back.  My legacy isn’t a big car and he is a big guy and they both have bags of food with them.  It didn’t matter if we were clogging up North Westnedge Avenue, the only people driving around in this weather are goofy folks like me.  We start heading south again.

“Where are you headed?”

“Downtown,” he says.

“Where downtown?”

“The McDonalds.” He says it like a question, wondering if I am willing to take them that far.

“No problem,” I say and we are creating tracks through the snow.

We chat a bit about the snow.  We remark about how early it feels for this kind of weather to be upon us already.  He shares that they have a car but it isn’t working  yet.  He’s confident he will get it running – in the next couple of weeks – maybe.  They’re both rubbing their hands together to warm them up.

There’s no traffic so it doesn’t take us long to arrive at McDonalds.  I pull into the parking lot and stop.  He looks at me and is sincerely grateful as he thanks me for the ride.  Then he stops for a moment and says, “Well this was really unusual!”

“What is?” I ask.

“This.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there aren’t a lot of white people giving rides to black people,” he states. “Especially at 6:30 in the morning!”

“You’re black!?” I exclaim with mock surprise. He laughs. She laughs. We say goodbye.

Today we anticipate the grand jury in Ferguson will announce their ruling on whether to indict police officer Darren Wilson for the shooting of Brown, an unarmed black man and the city is poised for violence.

I can’t help but believe that we can live differently.

Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? ~ Mt 25:37-39

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September 29, 2014

Going Postal

By pbstone

racism-2014

She tilted her head and looked over the top of her glasses and said, “You know I’m joking right?”

Mary (not her real name) is a bright 27 year old follower of Jesus. I know Mary through Jesus Loves Kalamazoo and those are the last words she heard as she left the post office last week deeply embarrassed and offended. Mary is African American and those last words came from the lips of the Caucasian postal clerk at the end of a transaction filled with judgment and racism.

Because I know Mary a bit, when I heard about her experience in the post office, I asked her to share the experience with me. I wanted to know what the impact of that experience was like on her. So today she sat down with me and shared her story. I’m sharing it with you, not because it is the most horrific event known to man, but because I believe it tells the story of so many and highlights what is still so in our culture today.

At this point, many of you are going to be tempted to quit reading. I get that. There’s also a part of me that doesn’t want to know this goes on still.

It is September of 2014 and Mary goes into the post office to pick up a package, from the VA, for her mom. Her mom has all the proper paper work filled out so Mary can pick it up on her behalf. But as she engages the postal worker at the window Mary is harassed, belittled, profiled, accused of being a junkie and a drug dealer by the clerk.

 Loudly, so loud every one in the room can hear, the clerk tells her that often the VA will send narcotics through the mail and that she is wondering if Mary is going to go sell them.   Mary, of course, is horrified and offended. She is embarrassed. “You just don’t talk to people that way,” Mary tells me.

After proclaiming she needs her supervisor’s approval, the worker leaves Mary standing at the window feeling just slightly awkward. When she returns with the package, it is with an equally as loud, “I guess you can go get high now” that she hands it to Mary.

Maybe it’s because of the color of Mary’s skin? Maybe it’s because Mary is young (a whole two decades younger than me!)? Maybe it’s the combination of the two? I think we all know there are white folks selling drugs and doing drugs. I think we also know there are old peeps who also sell and do drugs. And if we all know that, then why profile Mary?

I don’t know if it was the look on her face as Mary turned to leave, but the clerk – probably realizing she has crossed a line, finishes their interaction with “you know I’m joking, right?” What I can say is this, the only time I have ever said that is when I KNOW I have crossed the line, said something unacceptable, and want to cover it up and make sure I don’t get into trouble.

When I asked Mary what the impact of that exchange was on her, I could tell it was difficult for her to identify it. She felt humiliated and embarrassed – like her dignity was being stripped away. She didn’t make eye contact with anyone else in the crowded lobby as she got out of there as fast as she could.  At the same time, however, she also said it is what she has always experienced.

Mary went on to tell me about being ignored by white teachers when asking for help, of being snubbed by white students at school and how even being on the same sports teams didn’t make the playing field level.

In Galatians 3:8 Paul tells us, “there is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one…” If that is our spiritual reality, I wonder how long it will be before we live that way?

I don’t know how many times I have been to the post office – often looking like I have been dragged through the gutter. Never has anyone assumed I was doing drugs or selling drugs. And, if they did, nobody has ever said as much out loud to me. And certainly not in a public space like the post office.

Because of the way I look, speak and dress, nobody has ever profiled me for anything except for being the amazing upstanding citizen I am! (ok, I see that look!)  Whether you want to believe it or not, because of the way I look, because I was born to white parents, I live in a position of white, male privilege. And in order for me to live in privilege, that means somebody doesn’t get to – that’s the nature of privilege, some get to have it and others don’t.

In this instance, Mary doesn’t. Mary doesn’t get to go to the post office and assume it is a safe place for her to do business. Mary doesn’t get to believe that others will just assume the best of her. Mary doesn’t get to have the privilege of being able to go in and out of places, like the post office, without wondering if she will once again be harassed, belittled, profiled and accused.

Not unless something deep changes in our nation. My hope is that the church will lead the way and that we will learn to love the way Jesus loved.

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April 30, 2014

We’re Talking About Sterling For The Wrong Reason

By pbstone

Image

It’s still there.  Racism is. It’s still in the NBA, the NFL, the MLB and even the NHL.  It’s still in the United States. It’s just less overt. And because it is less overt, it is harder to deal with. What Sterling said in the privacy of his home, with his mistress (why aren’t we talking about this?), offended me.  I think it offended most Americans.  Really smart people with battle out the implications of his ban from the NBA on racism in the country.  And I am not minimizing his racist remarks or actions, but…

I am more concerned with what we aren’t talking about.

From what I gather from all the news reports I’ve read and the ESPN coverage I watched, is that Donald Sterling, an incredibly powerful white racist, was telling his mistress (i.e. they’re not married) who she could and could not hang with, particularly at the games.  He didn’t want her bringing any black people to the games.

Let me break it down a little differently.  Old, powerful white man with lots of money wants to control the behavior of the young lady he sleeps with.  Let me say it a little more boldly:  sugar daddy with money seeks to control the actions of the woman who meets his physical needs.  That isn’t love.

Sexism and the abuse of power.

Why aren’t we talking about the fact that an 80 year old married man has a mistress who financially benefited from their arrangement?

Why aren’t we asking deeper questions about why an 80 year old man with a lot of money believes it is alright to try and control her behavior?

Sterlings racism has been publicly obvious for years.  It is offensive.  The double standard of his racism (his mistress is of mixed race – whatever that means) is offensive.  His sexism, however, has subtly gone unchecked.

Are we ignoring the implications of an 80 year old married man sitting court side with his lover who is less than half his age?  What signal does that communicate to the young ladies in our culture today? When watching the games on tv and they zoom in on the owner with his girlfriend, do we with our sons about why unfaithfulness in marriage isn’t something to be celebrated? Do we remind our daughters in that moment of how beautiful they are?

Are we ignoring the fact that he wants to control her interactions with others?  Are we ignoring the fact that in any other setting we would call that sexism and an abuse of power? What a great opportunity to have a conversation about how we can use the resources God has given us to bring restoration to our world rather than pursuing our never ending appetites.

All over the world there are men who are trying, and are too often successful, to control the behavior of women.  When the tapes of Sterling’s conversation became public, what struck me most wasn’t the racist remarks. It was the fact that he thought that because she was his mistress he should be in control of her behavior. 

I don’t want this for my daughter.  I don’t want this for my sons.

Why aren’t we talking about this?

 

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October 21, 2013

I Think I’m Racist!

By pbstone

multicolored_hands

Don’t get me wrong.  Most people would look at my life and the people I hang out with and never suggest that I am.  In fact, for the most part, I wouldn’t say that I am.  But, there are these small little pieces in the secret places of who we are; and it is in there, that I think I am racist.  And, I am hopeful I will have the courage to press publish when I am done writing this.

Recently there were 3 Questions that really challenged me:

Two of them took came recently at a conference in NYC called Movement Day 2013.  I hadn’t been to Movement Day before and didn’t really know what to expect.  All I knew what that it seems that here in Kalamazoo God is doing something great and is generating a Gospel Movement to transform our little city, and that Movement Day is a conference about exactly that.  I went to the conference hoping to get some ideas to bring back, and understanding of how to steward such a movement, some practical tools and inspiration.  I got all that (it really is an amazing conference), and a whole lot more.

Already God was working on me in regard to what is happening in Kalamazoo and what needs to happen.  And then during the pre-conference it seems God really set me up.  Sitting with my friend Keith, we were to look at the current reality of Kalamazoo and identify what is missing.  It was clear to me what was missing – involvement from some of the African American churches.  In my head I am asking the question, “how do we get them to get involved in what we are doing, and why aren’t I doing anything about it?

Question 1

Moments later one of the African American leaders from another city talked about racial division and what racial collaboration can look like.  He shared how it first starts in relationships and finding the courage to meet one another on each others’ turf.  That troubled me.  I already knew it was about relationship.  And, I thought I had really good relationships with some African American pastors/leaders.  But…  I also knew, deep inside, that I hadn’t done anything to build a relationship with the pastors on the “north side.” Why haven’t I bothered?

Deep inside I was pretending I knew why I hadn’t. I’m too busy.  They’re too busy.  You know, the usual bull.  I looked at Keith and made a commitment to begin to build those relationships…

Question 2

One day later, in the middle of the conference, I am confronted by a very raw dialogue by Connally Gilliam (white and resourced) and Sherry Jones (african american & not as resourced) about their relationship and cross racial collaboration.  In that conversation Connally confessed to some areas of racism that I just hadn’t even thought about.  She said she realized that she believed “That Christianity was somehow a white religion and others got to just come along…” Some ways of just being in the world are inherited in a white, middle class, resourced life.  And I began to ponder with God…. What do I really believe?

I didn’t set out to be racist.  My parents certainly didn’t set out to raise me to be racist.  But I grew up in an all white little town in the middle of a mostly white state.  Wait…!   Remember the commitment I made to Keith – to build relationships?

The Monday morning after the conference I get an email from some guy I have never met.  It was an invitation to the prayer breakfast hosted by the Northside Ministerial Alliance.  Really God? I had never been to one of their meetings and I had never before been invited.  Clearly this was God’s way of opening a door for me to begin living into a commitment I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep.dr wright2

But God wasn’t done.  The featured speaker at the prayer breakfast was none other than Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright.  The Dr. Wright who made headlines because of harsh statements made about the United States and white people in general as a spiritual advisor to President Obama.  You know, the guy who made national news out of Chicago!

Thanks God.

I show up for the breakfast knowing I will get to sit with some other peeps I know from the community.  People from another nice suburban church.  What I didn’t know!  I didn’t know I should have dressed for The Oscars not my jeans and untucked button down.  I didn’t know I would be sitting right in the middle of the very front for everyone to look at – even as a high extrovert I was a little uncomfortable.  I didn’t know God wasn’t done bringing stuff up out of me.

Question 3

Dr. Wright gave a great message based out of Lamentations 4:17  and looking for help where there is no help to be found.  He was funny, sharp, brilliant and seemed to hit me hard.  In the middle of his talk he ran through a litany of where the Africans and then African Americans had looked for help in places it cannot be found.

In the middle of that litany I found myself feeling a wide array of emotions from anger, sadness, hopelessness, bitterness, etc.  I also found myself wanting, but unable, to distance myself from what he was saying. I didn’t want to hear in his voice the pain of the African people.  I didn’t want to hear from him the stark reality of the current situation.  My life is pretty squeaky clean and I like it that way. Why don’t I want to know the story and pain of the African American?

I love my life.  I have an amazing wife and family.  I get to do the kinds of things I know God has wired me and given me deep passion for.  I don’t like being racist.  And it isn’t that I have a dislike or hatred for anybody.  What I am discovering is that there is a part of me that loves the version of the American Dream I get to live.  I have been discipled by a white middle class version of the American Dream more than I have been discipled by Jesus and fear of stepping out of that keeps me stuck.

HOPE!

The good news is this.  God is reconciling all things and people to himself and the Spirit is alive!  And, I have a good friend, James, who has promised to help me. He wouldn’t have, however, if I hadn’t found the courage to authentic with him.

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July 22, 2013

Martin, Zimmerman & the Gospel

By pbstone

Racial-unitySo I am a little slow…

It has been over a week since the Zimmerman Verdict. Everyone  who has had something to say has mostly said it.  Some have said it really well.

There is no reason for me to rehash all that has, or hasn’t, been said.  However, I am really present to this question:  In our culture today, with elevated levels of anxiety and the resulting group-thinking that is leading to deeper and deeper division, how do we move forward in a way that is healthy, brings deep healing and honors one another?

I have a deep conviction that the way forward is paved by people who are learning to love in such a way that deep listening becomes a way of being. This way forward is led by people, not government, institutions or judicial systems; but by people who are being transformed (romans 12:2) and living differently.

It is clear that our nations continues to struggle with racial prejudice and injustice – that there are white people who have deeply felt negative feelings about anyone of color; and that there are people of color who have deeply felt negative feelings about anyone who is white. And, of course, there are any number of variations!

When we define love in a way that says, nobody wins unless everybody wins, and define a win as being able to clearly define oneself and be deeply understood, we then begin to step away from the win-lose way of listening and being with one another. When we begin to listen to understand rather than to fight, we begin to love.  It doesn’t mean we have to agree!  But love calls us to listen deeply when we don’t agree.

One of the best thinkers I know is the brilliant Bill Lamar ( http://www.faithandleadership.com/people-news/writers/william-h-lamar-iv). I met him while doing some work around issues of leadership at Duke.  More than the wisdom regarding leadership, what I recieved most from Bill was the gift of his capacity to listen deeply to me around areas we didn’t see eye to eye on!

Somebody has to start!

And it might as well be me (and you?). In Romans 5:10 Paul says, “When we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him…”  In human history, God made the first move, and has continued to invite us into that move of redemption. The point, tho, is this – God made the move when there was still enmity and hostility.  God went first.  What would it look like for God’s people to join him in going first?

What would it look like for you to sit down and have conversation with some whose experience is different than yours because of their race, ask them what their experiences have been like, and listen to them deeply? I think this would be really hard to do.  I also deeply believe these are the kinds of conversations God is calling us to have.

The first totally loving thing Jesus did as a fully alive and fully human person, was ask Mary and Joseph to do something really really hard.

Right.  Not only was Mary asked to risk stoning and take on the pregnancy of a child that would not be her future husband’s, and not only was Joseph asked to move forward in the wedding plans and to be the earthly father of a child that would not be his; but they were both asked to love and parent a child who is fully “other” than they. He would be called the Son of God. He would be (and was and is) fully human, but he would not be the usual Jewish boy.  This call to do something hard is also a the most loving thing God could will and do for Joseph and Mary.  If we believe 1 John 4:8 to be true, then EVERYTHING God does is a loving act of his will – even this.

Even calling us to do the hard thing of loving those who are not quite like we are…

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